Guest Post: Making Career Decisions as a Mother
By Dr. Anne Welsh
Lily wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. She had earned degrees, earned promotions, and was in a job that she thought she loved. However, she also felt like she was drowning. She had one kid and hoped to have another, but felt like she just couldn’t do it all. She knew something had to change, but it felt terrifying to even ask.
Meanwhile, Selena was equally confused. She had taken a pause when she had kids. While she knew that was the right decision, and even knew that she wanted to return to paid work, she was unsure of what she wanted that to look like and what steps to take.
Before motherhood, career decisions felt linear, or at least clear. They worked hard, set goals, and moved forward. Then they became mothers, and suddenly, everything felt more complicated.
What used to be obvious now comes with layers of questions like,
Do I still want this?
Can I handle this workload?
Will I regret stepping back?
Will I resent pushing ahead?
Why is this so hard?
Motherhood is a profound transformation, not just personally but professionally. There’s a name for this shift—matrescence—the developmental phase of becoming a mother. Just like adolescence, it changes how we see ourselves, our values, and what we need from our careers.
For some, matrescence brings clarity: This is what I want, and I’m ready to go for it. For others, it brings uncertainty: I used to love my job, so why does it feel different now? Neither response is wrong and both are signs of growth.
The challenge is that while our identities evolve, the working world often expects us to stay the same. The hustle culture, the unspoken pressure to “bounce back,” the expectation that we’ll want what we always wanted, can leave us feeling stuck between who we were and who we are becoming.
But instead of shying away from that, I encourage women to dive in and think about what might work for you in this season.
One of the biggest myths about working motherhood is that you have to choose between being an ambitious professional and a present parent. The truth is, ambition doesn’t disappear when you become a mother, it evolves. Your work and career gets to evolve along with it.
Your career doesn’t have to follow a rigid timeline. You can set goals that fit this season and adjust as you go. You can pursue leadership, change industries, take a break, start something new—whatever aligns with your reality right now.
Your ambition is still yours. Now you get to define it on your own terms. You can choose, and then choose again.
Lily & Selena worked with me to figure out what was right for THEM in this season. Lily made some changes at work, rolled with some changes that were made around her, and found a place where she could keep doing what she loved and grow her family. It wasn’t easy, but it was SO fulfilling. It was the right path for her. Selena slowly tuned into her internal voice, and reconnected with the things that brought her joy and meaning. She moved back into paid work in a new sector that brought growth and purpose. For both, motherhood opened them up to so much more in their career. It didn’t shrink their ambition- it heightened it.
So if you’re standing at a crossroads, unsure of your next move, remember:
• You don’t have to have it all figured out—just the next step.
• This decision isn’t permanent. It’s just the right choice for this phase of life.
• You are allowed to change your mind as your needs and desires evolve.
• You don’t have to prove your ambition—it is already within you.
Trust yourself. You are the expert on your own life. And whatever you choose, you can always choose again.
Remember you are not alone. There are so many of us figuring out the messy middle of career and motherhood together. It’s okay to not have all the answers because we are all figuring this out as we go.
Warmly,
Anne
PS. If you’re in the season of asking “What now?” or “What’s next?” in your work life, while still holding all the pieces of motherhood—you are not alone.
I created Working Mothers Lifeline for women like you: high-capacity, thoughtful, exhausted women navigating the middle of their careers and caregiving journeys. Over 6 months, in a small, coached group, we unpack ambition, burnout, identity, and boundaries. We ask big questions and build more supportive answers together.
If you’re craving space to feel seen and supported as you figure out your next chapter, I’d love to have you.
Learn more or join here: